


Atlas may have done so by fooling Hercules, but all he wanted was to rest.

by alan713ch



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Death, Drowning, Fire, McCall family feelings, Other, Perishable, Suicide Attempt, coda to perishable, many many many feels, someone help scott mccall, wolf instinct
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2014-08-20
Packaged: 2018-02-13 23:58:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2170215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alan713ch/pseuds/alan713ch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scott McCall can't protect anyone, no matter how hard he tries. </p>
<p>A small coda after the events of 4x09 Perishable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Atlas may have done so by fooling Hercules, but all he wanted was to rest.

Scott could feel the wind cutting his face. He was not wearing his helmet - he needed the cool to calm his thoughts and the smell of gasoline would’ve engulfed him, trapped him, and he couldn’t take it.

_Maybe I should just be no one again. No one at all._

He tried not to think about that night. He kept telling himself that it had been the Darach’s - Jennifer - messing with his mind, but he kept hearing the voice in his head, his own voice, his own thoughts wondering if they weren’t right.

_I can’t protect them. I can’t protect anyone. I’m useless as an alpha, Liam almost died, Malia almost died, if Derek and Braeden hadn’t shown up…_

He focused on the road. It was already late, and his mother would be so tired from another endless shift that he didn’t want to wake her up. He considered going through the window, but he needed to get rid of his clothes, to wash them, to put away the gasoline and he needed to do it now, before it would soak in, before it would be ingrained in the fibers of his shirt and pants and shoes and he would have to burn them away, because he couldn’t burn them away. He couldn’t buy more clothes.

_You have the money under your bed. Even if it is Derek’s money. Doesn’t he owe you? Wasn’t it Peter’s fault that you almost died tonight? That you’ve almost died countless times this past year?_

No. He was not going to touch that money. He was not going to rip Derek off. He would give it back to him as soon as they had caught the Benefactor and managed to recover all of it, preferably without his dad interfering.

Now, just for now, a quick shower, soak his clothes in the bathtub and not wake up his mom. She needed to sleep.

He couldn’t rob her of that. Not when he couldn’t provide for her.

He needed to talk to Deaton about putting more hours in the clinic. Weirdly enough, the business was still booming, even if the vet was engaged more in supernatural creatures than actual pets.

An old scent finally invaded his nose, and he parked the bike. He was sure no one would rob it, so no need to open the garage.

_Home._

Even if he spent less and less time in it.

He considered going up the window, but he was too tired to jump it. Not physically, no - he just wanted to drag himself up to his room.

He went to the door, but someone else opened it for him.

“Mom? What are you doing up?”

He had seen that look on her lately. Whenever she was looking at the bills, trying to make ends meet.

“I just got off the phone with Derek. He said that you almost died tonight. Again.”

_Disappointed. She’s disappointed at you._

“Mom, it’s alright - It was just…”

“Someone trying to set you on fire. God, Scott, I can smell the gasoline.”

Scott backed away, trying to shield her from the smell. It was pungent, and now he was cursing himself for not going through the window. She didn’t need to see him like this.

‘Scott, please! Just - just come in. Please.”

“Mom…”

He could hear the tremors in her throat, holding a sob. He could smell the tears forming in her eyes, the salt that always comes with them.

“Mom, it’s alright, I’m alright - I’ll just take a shower and I’ll go to bed. Mom, please, don’t look at me like that, please -”

“Like what?”

“Like I disappointed you again. Like I’m a monster.”

“Oh, Scott…”

And instead of calming down like he wanted, she just started sobbing.

“Mom, no - I’m sorry, mom, please don’t cry! Mom, please -” he could feel his words drowning in his own tears, because if there was one thing that could destroy him was seeing her cry.

That’s why he needed her to be as far of this mess as possible.

“Scott, please, stop! Just - Scott. Come in.”

And before he could say anything else - argue anything else - she grabbed his hand and walked him in. And upstairs. Until they reached his room.

“Take off your clothes, I’m preparing you a bath.”

“Mom!”

“Don’t you mom at me, young man,” and Scott felt the wolf, the alpha portion of him back down, “I’m getting you a bath and I want those clothes on the floor. I’ll pick them up and get rid of them.”

“Mom! We can’t -”

“Scott, I’m your mother. It is my job to worry about things like clothes and bills and money, and I know you want to help and God helpme I know that your goddamn instinct as an alpha makes you want to help but it is my job. I’m the one supposed to take care of you and even if it’s just for tonight I will. Clothes on the floor, I’m getting that bath ready and if you are not wearing a towel by the time I’m back I swear I’ll take a picture of whatever state of undress you are and send it to the pack.”

And without looking back at him she went into his bathroom.

He heard the water run, and could hear his mother’s sobs in the background. She couldn’t think he wouldn’t hear, would she? He was right next door.

“Mom?”

He saw her clearing up her face with the back of her hand.

“You’re still dressed.”

“Mom, I don’t need a bath, I can just take a shower…”

“Well, the tub is half full, and we really can’t waste the water, can we?” Her smile was broken, somehow it felt incomplete, but he didn’t have the heart to argue anymore. So he just went back, took off his clothes (except for his underwear) and got ready. “Don’t worry, Scott - as much as I would actually feel better if I bathed you, I am not going to rob you from whatever dignity you may think you have. I’ll be downstairs - take your time. Make sure you don’t smell of gasoline when you come down.” She kissed his forehead and walked out, taking the discarded clothes with her.

Alone, he got in - his mother still knew that sweet spot between cold and hot, just good, and he went under.

One mississippi. Two mississippi.

_You can stay here, you know. Under. Let it go. Before you become a monster._

Twelve mississippi. Thirteen mississippi.

_It would be so easy, to not get up. Isn’t the water just warm?_

Forty mississippi. Forty one mississippi.

_Your mother could collect the check. Twenty five million dollars._

Sixty mississippi. Sixty mississippi…

“SCOTT!”

He felt a pair of very strong arms pulling him up. He drew his breath in, and he could feel her touching his face, checking that he was breathing again, that he was alright.

“Mom, I’m OK, I’m OK I’m -”

“Dear god Scott you are not OK! I felt it, the pull to come and look at you - I felt that it went through your mind, hurting yourself! Like something inside of me had to come and see you.”

“Pack,” Scott mumbled, unsure, “but you are not a werewolf?”

“I’m your  _mother_. Now, sit.”

“What? Mom!”

“I am not leaving you alone again. Don’t argue with me.” She grabbed the loofa and started bathing him. She was taking her time, making sure the scrub was strong but not too much, moving soap suds around his body, her hands like an angel’s touch on his skin.

He didn’t know how, or why, but he felt letting go at her touch, at her grooming, at the way she seemed to know how to caress him, how to rub him, how to wash him. She was a nurse, but he felt that this was  _wolf_ , that this was  _pack_ , that this was  _home_.

Even is she wasn’t a werewolf.

“Scott…”

He didn’t know when he started crying. He just let himself do so.

“I’m sorry mom. I’m a failure. I can’t protect everyone. I try, and I try and I try but I can’t. I couldn’t protect Liam or Malia tonight. I can’t help Lydia with what she’s going through. Even that cop, Parrish? I couldn’t protect him - he’s still alive because we don’t even know what he is. The Sheriff’s in the hospital now, and I still don’t know who the Benefactor is or why they are trying to kill us and then there’s the money because whenever there’s a werewolf emergency I end up destroying something and I know we can’t afford more clothes, or more food, or fixing the house, and then dad’s here and he keeps nosing in and I can’t tell him about all this and I couldn’t save  _her_ _and I am such a failure_ , MOM!” He was breaking down in her tight embrace, and he just wanted everything to stop even if for just one moment.

“Scott, honey… You are doing too much…”

“But it’s my responsibility, mom, I’m the alpha - I’m supposed to take care, to provide, to make sure everyone’s OK…”

“No, Scott. Yes, you are supposed to take care, to make sure everyone’s OK, but you are not supposed to break yourself because of it. First of all, that’s not how a wolf pack functions - the alpha  _leads_ , the alpha  _oversees_ , and the alpha  _strategizes_ , but just as the alpha decides what’s good for the pack, the whole pack  _takes care_  of the alpha. And you are not letting us take care of you.”

“I don’t want to be a burden.”

“You think you are? You are not. And you think we want to? To be a burden to you? Scott, I can’t ask you to run and hide but I can ask you to let me help.”

“You are helping. You are.”

“I can ask you to let me do my job. To let me worry for the things I’m supposed to worry about.”

“But I need to help.”

“And you do. You work at Alan’s, you alleviate the expenses you create, even with all the food you eat you still bring enough to keep the fridge stocked! You are far more than I could wish for a son, Scott, you don’t need to worry about me.”

“But I do.”

“I know. I know you also worry about everyone else.”

“There are prices on our heads.”

“Yes - but we all need to protect ourselves, not just you running everywhere. Scott, you need to stop and breathe.”

“I don’t want to see anyone else die.”

His mom sighed, stepping aside so he could get out of the tub and start drying himself.

“Scott, death is part of life. It’s nice to wish nobody would die, but truth is, we all do at some point. And yes, some of it is at the end of a gun wielded by a murderer. Now, hear me out,” she stopped him before he could protest, “I can see where you are coming from, and how you feel because of these abilities you’ve gained you have the responsibility to protect this town, and I couldn’t agree with you more, but what’s the point of protecting one person to the death if you can’t help someone else? We do all we can, at the hospital, but sometimes we can’t win. You need to do all you can, yes, but all you can without hurting yourself, otherwise you’ll be the first to go, and then who would protect me? Who would protect Stiles?” She chuckled at Scott’s horrified face, like he hadn’t seen it from that point of view, “Or you thought we would just move on? Scott, every night I go to sleep thinking that you will die, and the more I see you, the more I believe it’ll be because you’ll wear yourself down. That you’ll be so tired you won’t see it coming. You need to rest, to recharge. To freshen up.”

“I can’t. I can’t stop. If I stop, if I stop helping, then I’m just a monster, just like Peter, just like Gerard…”

“Scott…”

“It’s true! Since the outbreak at the PSAT’s, my fangs are different, and when Kira slowed down my heart, I kept dreaming I killed Liam over and over and over and it was because I wanted it to stop. Because I wanted to have power to stop everything…” He started crying again, and she opened her arms and pulled him closer to her chest, to her heartbeat. “I liked it, mom, in my dream… What if it’s just inside me, waiting to burst out, to tear him apart. To tear  _you_  apart?”

“Scott, you are not a monster.”

“I have fangs! I have claws!”

“And Matt Daehler had a gun, and the nogitsune had Stiles’ face. It’s not what we look like, but what we do, what differentiates the monsters from the good guys. Not every murder in this town has been an animal attack, you know?”

“I…”

“Scott, listen to me. I know the first time I looked at you at the station I was afraid, and I rejected you. And that will haunt me forever. No, don’t say anything - I screwed up, and I have to do my penance. I saw the fangs and the claws and for a moment I stupidly forgot that underneath all those sideburns you are still you. Underneath those claws, those fangs, you still are my boy. My son, a grown man. And yes, somehow the world ended up on your shoulders but it’s OK to ask for help. Even Atlas did.”

“He wanted to fool Hercules.”

“Still, he wanted help.” His mom had kept fixing his hair and touching his cheek this whole time they’ve been sitting in his bed. He hadn’t even realized he had put on his pajama bottoms. “Scott, you are not a monster. You are a werewolf, and I’m still not sure what that entails, but if Noshiko Yukimura can be a Kitsune for 900 hundred years without becoming a monster, I think it’s fair to say you can too.”

“She didn’t have a pack.”

“Which means she didn’t have help.” Scott looked at her again, trying to believe the words she was saying. “Honey, that’s what we are here for. Me, Stiles, The Sheriff, Lydia, Kira, Malia, Derek. We are your family, we are your pack. We help each other.”

“Allison had us too.”

“I know. And it hurts, and it will hurt for a long time. But that doesn’t mean you need to this alone. Do you really think she would like to see you like this? What would she do?”

Scott sighed, but smiled. He couldn’t help it.

“She’d whack me in the head and grab her bow and go out and attack them with me. She would not stay inside.”

“Then we won’t stay inside either. We’ll walk with you, side by side. Carrying a weapon, probably.”

And even though she laughed at her joke and he laughed too, he finally let himself go and cried. Cried for Allison, cried for his pack, cried for himself. And he let his mother hug him tightly to her chest, and he let himself go to her heartbeat.

A minute, an hour, a day later, he started to wake up. He didn’t know when he had fallen asleep, or when had his mom tucked him under the blankets. And before he could panic about her he saw her sitting in the chair in his room, asleep too, but looking so peaceful Scott wondered if what had happened last night had been as beneficial to her as it had been for him.

“Mom?”

“Hey, honey. How are you feeling?”

“Better, I think.”

“Good. Because as much as I would like for this to be a full weekend thing to do, Stiles called. They’ve found the Benefactor.”

**Author's Note:**

> We are very lacking of McCall Family Feelings scenes, so I wrote my own.


End file.
